Bring it

I sat with a woman this week just talking about life, the ups, the downs, struggles in her marriage, and her feelings of distance from the Lord... As we went deeper into the conversation she mentioned that she and her husband have also been out of church for a while. When I asked why, especially since she feels a disconnect in her relationship with God, the hardships in her marriage, the trials of life that she is trying to navigate, she responded with: "My husband is not a spiritual leader in my home, and he just doesn’t want to go to church.”

It was so interesting to continue on in our time together, only because this has been a reoccurring conversation in my life over the past few months with several woman: A lack of spiritual leadership from their husbands, paired with, in all honestly, a laissez-faire mind-set from the wife that is subtly growing into resentment. “well…if he isn’t going to go to church, I guess we just won’t go. If he isn’t going to lead a family devotional, we just won’t have one…(insert grumbles here)” What’s even more interesting is that each of these sweet women has expressed the same frustrations, hurts and disappointments that the husband is not spiritually leading their family, but seems to give little consideration about what her contribution (or really lack of) to this impasse.

I know that is a tender spot for many women; trust me, no judgment from me as I write this post, because I GET it. By design, as women, we are wired to desire spiritual leadership from our husband…and when that doesn’t happen, it can be a source of frustration, hurt and disappointment for us, just as my friends are experiencing. Again, I GET it! But while I deeply empathize in this struggle, I passionately believe we must never, never, never use our husband’s spiritual struggles to negate our responsibilities in the role the Lord has defined for us as Godly wives. If you can relate, can I share with you a word that the Lord is pressing on my heart for those of us in this tough spot:

It is time to rise to your calling as a godly wife!

Before we ever point the finger or voice disappointment in our husbands for lack of leadership, we must stop to evaluate our own hearts, our response to God’s call on our lives, and really examine if we are fulfilling our distinct function God has designed for a Christ-centered marriage. (Matthew 5:7 “…first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”)

One of my favorite verses that speaks to married woman, and the importance of our position is 1 Corinthians 7:14:

“… For the Christian wife brings holiness to her marriage…”

Oh, how this verse that fills my heart with purpose! As wives, we are to BRING holiness. But, let’s be honest here…that verse sounds a little overwhelming, right? I know when I first read that, all I could think of was that I was WAY under qualified! But, before you let it scare you (like it did me!) check out the definition of holy, it might give you a different perspective on really what God is asking of us:

ho·ly
1. specially recognized as or declared sacred by religious use or authority; consecrated: holy ground.
2. dedicated or devoted to the service of God, the church, or religion: a holy man.
3. saintly; godly; pious; devout: a holy life.
4. having a spiritually pure quality: a holy love.
5. entitled to worship or veneration as or as if sacred: a holy relic.

Note definition #2, “Dedicated or devoted…” Plug those words into what Peter wrote in 1 Corinthians 7:14, and it might shed a bit more understanding on that verse: “For the Christian wife brings [dedication and devotion for the Lord] to her marriage…. “

While it is the call of our husbands to be the spiritual leaders in our marriages, we cannot overlook our call from the Lord to bring dedication and devotion in our marriage.

To bring this back to the context of the struggles of yearning for our husband to be what God designed him to be, and those ever-draining Sunday morning battles of “church-or-no-church…” Here is some straight up truth, friend-to-friend: Whether or not your husband is fulfilling his God-given duty of leadership, going to church or not, in the Word or not… You must still continue to seek the Lord, be in the Word of God, and keep going to church…even if that means going alone for a while. Continue to strive to live a life worthy of your calling, sweet friend, walking out your faith, and more than anything, trusting and honoring the Lord with your actions.

“…even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives.” 1 Peter 3:1-2

Verses 1-2 are refreshing, but also so convicting for those of us who are in the middle of situations like this. Convicting and refreshing for the exact same reason: All God is asking us to do is obey Him, trust His Word…and He will take care of working in our spouse’s hearts. We don’t need to preach at our husband, try to guilt him, manipulate him, stress about pointing out every scripture we think will convict him…and frankly, we shouldn’t ever dare try to play the role of the Holy Spirit to our spouse. Instead, we must rise up, set our lives in response to God's ordained rhythm for our marriage, fulfilling the function God has designed for us. To put it simply: We need to focus on living our lives in such a way that honors the Lord, and let God use our behavior to impress into our husband’s spirit; trust the Lord that He is going to work in this situation.

And to just give you a little more encouragement and comfort for your heart if you are hurting: as much as we desire for our husband to lead our family spiritually--God desires it even more, because it is aligned with His will and perfect design!

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.” 1 John 5:14

Rise up, dear sister, and while doing so, keep taking your cries to the Lord, knowing He hears those prayers, has great compassion equipping you for this journey:

“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity [lacking in boldness or determination], but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7

So be still and know, sweet friend, the encouraging words of Psalm 37:4 “Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you your heart’s desires.”

Running with His Grace

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith...let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting Him, He endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now He is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. Think of all the hostility He endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up. ...No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way. ...So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees. Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong." -Hebrew 12:1, 2

I don't think many of us cannot relate to weariness, exhaustion...maybe even a fear that a trial or a "season" may be never-ending. I totally get it, and have been there many times myself. I know the crushing weight and burden of those fears...and I also understand the temptation to try to come up with a worldly solution to speed up or end the trial that is being suffered. Isn't it HARD to wait sometimes? Especially to wait patiently as God encourages us to do in Psalm 27:14 "Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous.Yes, wait patiently for the Lord."

But do you see the beauty of what God is saying to us in Hebrews 12... He reminds us that those who are close to Him, as well as those that don't even know Jesus are a witness to how we are dealing with these battles. God is telling us that He doesn't want us to just crawl and drag our way through it...He says RUN the race! Run with confidence that Christ has already laid the footwork for us to come behind Him in His footsteps. God's precious Son has already run the same race, fought the same battles, endured the ultimate fight--AND WON!

Wow...being reminded of this is like taking a deep breath of His grace when I feel like I am about to suffocate.

When life is tough, it is so easy to go into our little hopeless bubbles of self, thinking no one understands, no one can relate...and we end up isolating ourselves and try to bear these burdens and trials alone. This is not God's design! It is a tool of evil. So what do we do when we feel like we are losing the race, or we just can't "run" anymore? The answer is right there in Hebrews 12:2..."we do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the Champion..." Sounds too simple to be actually work though, right? But here is the absolute truth of that statements: When we keep our eyes on Christ, we know that we, like Peter in Matthew 14, we can walk on water through the most intense storms of our lives. And when we not only can't "run" but instead feel like we are drowning in the seas of our struggles, unable to endure the crushing waves of life...look up! Jesus is reaching His hand out to us to pull us up, to save us, to walk with us on the stormy waters! (Matthew 14:24-31)

The truth continues on to remind us that when we think we are alone and no one can understand...Christ does! He understands because He humbled Himself from the sitting at the right hand of the Creator of the heavens and earths to endure everything that we would ever struggle with, to conquer every trial.

He knows what it is to be weary,
He knows grief,
He knows betrayal,
He knows heartbreaking loneliness.
He even knows the really nasty uglies of our fallen world...
...to be beaten
...to be spit on
...to be ridiculed
...to be abandoned
...treated as if He were worthless.


He knows our pain, our hurts, our inequities...He suffered them with the knowledge that upon Him winning the battle there would be unfathomable joy, and profound peace that our broken hearts are desperately seek. He had sufferance so that we may have hope and endurance through His victory. And how blessed are we, that since we are called His, that He runs beside us in this race encouraging our spirits, whispering in our hearts,

"You can do this! Keep going! You have already won because you believe in Me...I have seen the wonderful things that are on the other side of this! Keep going!"

There is such powerful hope found in John 16:31 (MSG) when Christ said:

"...The Father is with me. I've told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I've conquered the world."

And be encouraged by God's promise of ultimate withstanding victory for you during whatever trial your are in right now:

"...but now he makes another promise: “Once again I will shake not only the earth but the heavens also.” This means that all of creation will be shaken and removed, so that only unshakable things will remain...Since we are receiving a Kingdom that is unshakable, let us be thankful and please God by worshiping him with holy fear and awe..." Hebrews 12:26-28.

Be unshakable in trials because Christ is in you...know you will endure, and you will make it through!

"...In the same way I was with Moses, I'll be with you. I won't give up on you; I won't leave you. Strength! Courage! ...Give it everything you have, heart and soul. ...Don't get off track, either left or right, so as to make sure you get to where you're going. And don't for a minute let this Book of The Revelation be out of mind. Ponder and meditate on it day and night, making sure you practice everything written in it. Then you'll get where you're going; then you'll succeed. Haven't I commanded you? Strength! Courage! Don't be timid; don't get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take." Joshua 1:1-9 (MSG)

I pray that your heart is overflowing with encouragement and promises from His Word. We serve a God of Good. Our God is a God of Hope and Victory. Be unshakable in Him!

Be Still and Know...God is with you on this journey. Stay on course of this race! Keep your focus on Jesus, and remember He is with you and you are not alone, and He is cheering you on with His promises, precious friends!

Passionately....waiting?

"God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It's a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God."--Lamentations 3:25 (The MSG)

Does anyone else feel like the pairing of the verbs 'passionately' and 'waits' is a bit of an oxymoron? A bit contradictory?

In my mind, 'waiting' is like hitting the pause button on life...everything just stops, stands frozen, still, unmoving until the "waiting" is over. It can be agonizing, draining, cumbersome, anything but passionate!

As I walk though life with Christ, I have to continually throw myself at His mercies as I struggle to deal with waiting. To be honest, I feel that I have spent many years in an ugly out-and-out battle to simply...wait. I use the word "battle", meaning it in the full use of the term because I tend to adopt the "Esau-Syndrome" wanting to rebel against waiting. I wrestle with wanting to impulsively react to satisfy a short-term desire, want, or (what I deem!) a need--not even thinking that I am trading away God's blessings and His perfect plan and purpose for me. All because I just can't seem to grasp the concept of waiting. Especially when waiting stretches past a "season" and goes into years, that now stretch into what I call "desert lands"

...it is hard to remember God's timing is better than mine...His ways are higher than mine...and His understanding of my situations and that also of the world. I, to be honest, tend to revert to the Israelite's behavior as I walk through my personal "desert" in life. It is a constant struggle in my heart because I do not want to be so near-sighted that I cannot trust in the bigger plan that He has!

"Soon the people began to complain about their hardship, and the Lord heard everything they said. ... “Oh, for some meat!” they exclaimed. “We remember the fish we used to eat for free in Egypt. And we had all...we wanted!” ...[The Lord directed Moses to tell the people] "...Lord heard you when you cried, “Oh, for some meat! We were better off in Egypt!” Now the Lord will give you meat, and you will have to eat it. ...You will eat it...until you gag and are sick of it. For you have rejected the Lord, who is here among you, and you have whined to him, saying, “Why did we ever leave Egypt?”--Numbers 11:1-20 (New Living Translation)

"But it wasn't long before they forgot the whole thing, wouldn't wait to be told what to do. They only cared about pleasing themselves in that desert, provoked God with their insistent demands. He gave them exactly what they asked for— but along with it they got an empty heart..."--Psalm 106:13-15 (The Message)

YIKES!


The more I study the concept from a Christ-follower perspective of waiting, I am fully convinced it is one of the most challenging exhortations of Scripture for me. My natural progression of emotions during waiting periods, I have noticed is I tend become fidgety, fearful, frustrated, anxious, and sometimes even angry. I find myself screaming: "Am I really expected to just to...wait ...keep hitting the pause button, and just sit around twirling my thumbs until God hits the play button and gives resolution?"

My sweet Savior has listened to me beg for understanding on this subject, and recently He has laid an incredible thought on my heart:

That waiting, despite my impatience and incredible dislike for it, is a essential element in my relationship with God and how I ultimately reflect Him to others, especially my children.

"I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord. Oh, the joys of those who trust the Lord"--Psalm 40:1-9 (New Living Translation)


But He doesn't stop with just promises that He will be glorified through my trials. He gives incredible promises to those of us that are waiting...waiting on Him...waiting and trusting in Him.


"He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall, but those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint." --Isaiah 40:29-31 (New King James Version)

This verse just fills my heart with emotion. If you have ever endured a season that seemed never-ending, I am sure you know the feelings of weariness, a dragging heart, wanting to give up, contemplation of waving the white flag. This verse is like the most pure, clean water a man dying of thirst. It is the air to a woman who can't catch her breath. It overflows with hope!

"Wait on the LORD; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the LORD!"--Psalm 27:14 (New King James Version)


My prayers have been transformed as I have gone through this quest to understand and seek the Lord in this struggle to embrace waiting. I find that instead of begging for His timing to be harried...I am begging that He will strengthen my heart. That He will give me a new song to sing, and He will never let me forget the goodness He provides for me in this desert. Not to say that I do not have days and moments when I do wrestle with feelings of hopelessness in this situation, or wondering if it will be never ending...but I must remember what the Israelites were told just as they were about to enter the Promise Land after 40-years of wondering in the desert:

"Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. ...For the LORD your God is bringing you into a good land...and you will lack nothing....Be careful that you do not forget the LORD your God...He led you through the vast and dreadful desert, that thirsty and waterless land, with its venomous snakes and scorpions. ...so that in the end it might go well with you." --Deuteronomy 8:1-11 (NIV)

God is leading me in my desert. He is near, guiding us through the tough and "waterless" waiting times in our lives. Giving us exactly what we need to survive and endure it! And the confidence to know that His promises to us will come, but all in His timing. Just as the sun rises and sets perfectly, or seasons come and go in perfect order... I love how confident David is when he wrote Psalm 130:5-6:

"I pray to God—my life a prayer— and wait for what He'll say and do. My life's on the line before God, my Lord, waiting and watching till morning, waiting and watching till morning."-- (The MSG)

One final, maybe random, thought that is massively encouraging that I discovered about the word waiting. The english word "waiting" (as in waiting on the Lord) comes from the Hebrew word "Qavah." There are several definitions to describe this word, all which I expected, except for the last definition:

(1) “look patiently”
(2) “tarry or wait”
(3) “hope, expect, look eagerly”
(4) “to bind together”

As we wait...we are not simply hitting the "pause button" on our lives, like I thought. No! Instead, God is lovingly binding Himself to us! I am a mother of 4-amazing fellas...all whom I would use a baby wrap to carry them when they were infants. So, when I hear the term "binding together," I picture the way a mother (or father) may wrap a new born child around her body to carry the child she will forever, unconditionally loves beyond description, through the day...close to her heart, safe in her arms. Isn't that a precious picture?

God knows some trials or deserts will be too much for us to endure...to long for us to travel...to heavy for us to bear. So He binds us to Him so that He can carry us through! It totally changes my perspective...the thought of God holding me close, as His child, close to His heart, safe in His arms... is all I need to hear to help me understand passionately waiting on the Lord!

"I wait quietly before God, for my victory comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will never be shaken." --Psalm 62:1-2 (New Living Translation)


"I will thank You and confide in You forever, because You have done it [delivered me and kept me safe]. I will wait on, hope in and expect in Your name, for it is good..." --Psalm 52:9 (Amplified Bible)

Be Still and Know...that God is in your waiting. Just as a mother binds a baby close to her heart, God is holding you close to His, precious friend.